Saturday, December 31, 2011

Letter to a friend

so what's up?  You haven't been here (facebook) for awhile. do you still hate me.  Sorry for being so cruel, but that's just what I was going through at the time.  You know I love you, and I thought we were friends.  I really thought that we could go off on each other once in awhile with the understanding that it was ok and we would talk about what was said.   Guess you didn't see it that way.  I was really hoping that you would talk to me and ask me why I said the things I said, but you didn't.

I was really disappointed that you didn't challenge what I said to you so few months ago.  Really disappointed that you didn't come back to me regarding anything I said to you.  My goodness friend (or so I thought) we always went back and forth with our opinions, thoughts, feelings, etc.  We have always worked them out.  WHY NOT THIS TIME???????
Were you that much offended that you couldn't contact me and tell me off???????   Did I hurt you that much, that you couldn't let me know.  I sure as hell would've let you know, well as of a matter of fact I did let you know how much you hurt me.

I Just want to know; why haven't you called or emailed me to bless me out, yell at me or whatever.  I know I said some harse things to you, I know I was gruell: however that is no reason not to respond.  I do apologize for being so cruell and unforgiving at the time however you have got to realize what I was going through at the time.

Not having an income, being evicted, moving in with my sister then moving to another state to give my mother full time care, now looking for employment, etc.

Unless or untill you've been through what I went through you will never know the emotions.
I ask for your forgiveness in what I said to you and you know I was harsh, however you need to understand I was hurting and I was hurting beyond what I knew hurting was.   I have never ever known such pain as to watch my mother die and give up her last breath.

She died at home with her children around her and her older sister who happens to be the only one left of her siblings.
I hurt and I'm confused as to why you no longer want to keep in touch with me.  You for some reason haven't wanted to keep in touch with me since before I left the burgh and I don't know why.

I understand that you are in a relationship, I have never had a problem with that, however you still could've called me back occasionally!  But you chose not to!   Why I do not know!

I'm hoping that you forgive me for anything that I've done wrong to you as I forgive you.  Just remember this if you forgive so will you be forgivin,  if you don't then you won't.

I love and miss you and hope our friendship can be renewed.






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1 comment:

  1. Well she never got back to me. I guess I'm not forgiven by her.

    I just thank God that he has forgiven me. Amen and Amen

    ReplyDelete